As the old gospel hymn states, "Times are filled with swift transitions; naught on earth unmoved can stand." We see this truth more today than perhaps ever before! With change come strong emotions some good and some bad.
How is it that we can navigate the changes we see? Let's face this important question and consider ways to navigate our emotions in the best ways.
Understanding Change-Related Emotions
We tend to respond to transition and change in similar, predictable ways. Because of this, we can prepare for situations and emotions before we face them, allowing us to have greater control over ourselves and avoid harming ourselves (or others) when our emotions get the best of us.Generally speaking, we will face a natural cycle related to grief and loss when changes come. Even if the change is good for us, transition implies some type of loss.
We tend to want to hold on to the familiar, even at great cost to ourselves. We typically don't like change. We grieve over the loss even while facing better times in our future.
We have an incredible power as humans to want to hold on to the familiar over the unknown. As some have stated it, "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't." It speaks of our fear of change being worse than where we are coming from. This is part of mourning. We're losing familiar routines, mastery of situations we faced, relationships, social dynamics, etc.
We will also face both excitement and fear. Our minds often don't like change. We have to learn new routines and ideas. Even though the transition might be the best possible action for us, new places ad routines require more energy and focus. Not only that but we have enough experience to know that many things that look promising are full of pain instead. "The grass is always greener" implies that we know our minds can trick us into thinking the transition is good for us, but we also fear that we could be wrong!
If you are growing, there is going to be transformation in your life. Learning how you tend to react to it is a great way to prepare yourself so that your changes are the most productive they can be.
Recognizing Your Emotional Patterns
Identifying your personal "triggers" will help you navigate change. This simply means we learn to be more self-aware. Paying attention to your emotions and even signs your body is giving you will provide clues to how you are doing. Noticing small changes in mood, for example, can alert you to unhealthy habits that are returning before they have the chance to manifest in your behavior.You should know the attitudes and situations that tend to "trigger" you. Identify potential triggers and prepare for ways to avoid them. Also create a plan if you cannot avoid the situations. Remember, everyone has triggers and you are responsible for controlling yours. It's not anyone else's job to avoid your triggers.
Ask good questions to help you learn more about yourself. This is the first step in learning to mitigate the emotions that come along with change.
- How have you responded to situations of change in your past?
- What actions or thoughts were most successful in helping you navigate and control your emotions?
- What can I do to make this time of change work best for everyone (including me)?
- In this situation, what pace should I take in the transition?
These types of questions can help you tremendously.
Practical Strategies for Emotional Navigation
It's important to develop strategies. Here are some related tips.- Develop Emotional Resilience
A good start to this is to name the emotions you are feeling. Admitting them, naming them, gives you power to change and control them.
You also can learn to recognize when you are resisting change. Ask yourself why you are doing it and be honest with yourself about the answer. This will include naming any emotions present.
Your reactions to change are completely natural. Everyone must take stock of themselves and identify what they are experiencing, not to wallow in the emotions but to be able to control them. remember, emotions are terrible masters but incredible tools. Use them to your advantage or change them into something worthwhile! - Use Healthy Coping Mechanisms
One of the best ways to create great coping mechanisms is to develop new routines and keep the old ones that are possible to maintain.
Finding healthy ways to express emotions is also important. That can come from talking to friends and family, prayer, or even writing them down.
It's important to stay grounded too. That is, be "present" as much as possible. Awareness will help you build familiarity faster and provide the means to make your changes more worthwhile and healthier.
By practicing mindfulness, you will also be able to reduce the stress of your changes while learning to see and appreciate the good you see in the new situation you find yourself in. - Find Stability in Change
Change is inevitable but that does not mean ALL your life will change. It's smart to think clearly about your current habits and routines and note those that will not change. You can still find things to do that are familiar, and this will help you navigate the change in a positive way with less stress. You can also try to make your surroundings more familiar with elements that carry over from the previous place you were. - Build Support Systems
Another healthy option is to immediately begin to reach out to create support by getting to know others who have made similar changes. Share your experiences and encourage them to share theirs. This mutual sharing can impact you greatly in positive ways. - Reframe
Determine to see your change as growth and not simply change. Our brains may not like change, but it will accept it much easier as growth. You can do this by looking for the meaning in your time of transition. Assign meaning to it that is appropriate, insightful, and positive.
This one skill will help you find lessons in everything you face in life!
Changes Will Always Come
There is no reason to resist change because it is a part of life. But that does not mean you have to be a "victim" of change! You can navigate your emotions and lead yourself into better habits that will reap dividends far into your future.
What changes have you faced recently? Share how you coped either by demonstrating how the points above helped you, or by giving other pieces of advice in the comments!
I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
The sun cannot shine every day. There will be times when you need to take a break and rest even if you don't know why.
Your body knows when you need to rest, and it will let you know. You can listen or ignore it, but you won't ignore it for long. It will remind you that you have limitations, and the reminder won't come at an opportune time.
Your spiritual life is similar. Be strong but use self-awareness. You cannot do or be everything. Be patient, forgiving, and persistent while understanding your limitations.
Expect some down time. I'm not talking specifically about sin, although it will happen. I'm talking about those times when your faith is not so strong. When you feel weak and discouraged. It's all part of the process. That does not mean it's unimportant though. These down times must be anticipated so that you can learn to get through them the best ways possible.
Depending on the kind of situation, you might need one or all (or more) of these things in your life.
- Increase time in prayer.
- Read the Bible more.
- Spend more time in worship.
- Spend more time with close Christian friends.
- Spend time alone.
- Find a healthy "distraction".
- Call a mentor or ask someone to be a mentor.
- Go exercise. Go for a walk or bike ride.
Prepare in advance for the inevitable times you just aren't up to the challenges of life. You know they are coming, and you probably know how to get through them.
Comment below your own advice for getting through these times!
I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
Sometimes we might think that (since we are saved by God's grace) He does not care about the good things we do. Some even use Isaiah 64:6 out of context to say that even our good deeds are "filthy rags" to Him. If this were true it would be devastatingly discouraging!
When trying to encourage Christians to remain true to the faith that they professed, the writer of the book of Hebrews said, "God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them" (Hebrews 6:10). This means that the things we choose to do MATTER to God!
People have no doubt that God pays attention to the bad things they do, but they rarely talk about the fact that He also notices the GOOD that we do. Maybe we should talk about that more.
What good things will God see you doing today?
I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
Eloquence is not important.
The number of words is not important.
Sophistication is useless.
Pouring out your heart in faith is important.
Struggling with your mind and thoughts is important.
Understanding your deficiency is important.
Recognizing God's sovereignty is vital.
It's not the prayer that is powerful but the One you are praying to.
Prayer takes your needs and thoughts to the One who can do something about them. It is not something we should set aside.
- If we don't have time for it, we are too busy.
- If we don't feel comfortable with it, we should discover why.
- If we don't know what to say, it's because we have not developed the mindset for it.
There is nothing that can replace prayer. Yes, God knows what you need. He also knows how to supply it. He does not need the reminder. WE need the reminder though!
There are some things that He will not give us unless we ask for them. The second half of James 4:2 says, "Yet you do not have because you do not ask."
Could it be that sometimes we are guilty of blaming God for not providing the things we never asked Him to provide?
I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
James 4:4 says, "Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?"
Have you ever considered what is implied here?
First of all, we need to address a false idea that sometimes is thrown around. This does not mean that having friends who are not Christians is somehow evil. The context is not about people but about evil desires. It's about "wars" that people wage in churches when they don't get their way.
Doing things the way the world does them means NOT doing things as God wants us to do them. James is talking about processes, corrupt, ungodly systems that can be employed to take what we want from others. It's about ungodly things in this world. If that includes people, it's about colluding with people to do evil.
But the implications of this verse are powerful!
- It's about materialism vs. trusting God.
- It is about relationships and social pressures.
- It's about our use of time and resources.
- It's about a way of living that this world has "figured out" that is contrary to living as God wants us to live.
Christianity is far more than a weekend hobby. It is a way of life that incorporates the most fundamental thinking and activities of life.
I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
