An addiction to smokeless tobacco was killing my father. I could see that he felt trapped. We tried everything we could think of to help motivate him and encourage him when he said he wanted to stop, but nothing seemed to work. It wasn’t long before he was back into the addiction.
Dipping snuff is a strong habit, and it’s dangerous to your health. It also alienated him a lot. We had a difficult time wanting to bring our children over, afraid they would learn bad habits. He knew these things but still felt powerless to stop.
The Turning Point
He continued to struggle between the desire to quit and the feelings of despair that made him give up the effort for a long time. But one day everything changed. He lost all of his teeth, and his doctor warned him that he could develop cancer of the mouth. That was his wakeup call. That’s when he stopped dipping.
At first, I was upset that losing his teeth motivated him to quit, but his own family's needs and desires were not enough. I thought it showed selfishness—like he didn’t care enough about his family to stop. But I’ve come to see it differently.
People often need more than one reason to change. It’s likely he stopped for many different reasons—including his family. I realized that people can only stop doing things when their thinking changes, and maybe that was the moment it finally clicked for him. All the motivations that had been building finally took hold.
And that’s an important thing to remember:
You can’t change for long unless your mind is transformed.
You can’t change for long unless your mind is transformed.
My dad’s decision to quit wasn’t just a decision to avoid tobacco. It was a decision to think differently about tobacco and his need for it.
Change without transformation will not last. Sometimes change comes first, and transformation follows. But real transformation must come at some point, or else the change will fall apart.
Rethinking Philippians 4:8
God wants us to change and become more like Him. But He never teaches behavior modification without a transformation of the mind. He wants us to think differently. But we don’t always think like God does. We tend to focus on the behavior—what we want to stop or fix—instead of the mindset behind it.
Take Philippians 4:8, for example. It’s often quoted to help people with anxiety and worry:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
Well-meaning Christians might quote this as a cure: “Just think better thoughts.” But Paul wasn’t just talking about replacing negativity. He was addressing something deeper.
The Deeper Connection
This verse sits in the context of anxiety (verse 6), but that’s still part of a larger context—the command to “stand fast in the Lord” (Philippians 4:1). Paul was dealing with a conflict in the church at Philippi. Two women—Euodia and Syntyche—were at odds. Paul didn’t mention what the conflict was. He just said, “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.”
That phrase—“in the Lord”—is important. He was asking them to consider what God had said, understand it, and come into agreement. And in the process of restoring peace, Paul gives a series of instructions:
- Rejoice in the Lord (4:4)
- Be gentle or reasonable (4:5)
- Don’t be anxious (4:6)
- Think on what is good (4:8)
Then in verse 9, he gives the outcome:
“The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”
Paul does mention anxiety. And his words can help us when we feel overwhelmed. But he wasn’t just offering a technique to manage emotions. He was guiding people toward transformation that would lead to peace and unity.
Why did Paul talk about anxiety in the middle of this? Because anxiety robs us of peace. You can’t live in constant worry and also experience the peace of God. But Paul’s answer wasn’t “think happy thoughts” or “stay busy.” It was deeper than that.
He was calling them to meditate on what is true and excellent, yes—but not just as an emotional escape. As they considered those things, they would also discover how to live them. That’s what leads to peace.
The goal wasn’t to solve anxiety. The goal was to restore unity and help them live with God’s peace. The anxiety had to be addressed because it was blocking that deeper work.
God Doesn’t Just Want Change—He Wants Transformation
So, what about you?
Is there an area in your life where you’ve been trying to change—but haven’t yet experienced real transformation? Are you focused on behavior or on renewing your mind?
Real change starts when you learn to think differently. Think higher. You’re not the stop gap. You’re not the one holding everything together. God is.
We’re part of something much bigger than ourselves. And when that becomes our mindset, it changes the way we see everything.
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