Here I am again, ready to write out my life plans but I am fighting writer's block. The blank screen of my life glares at me. I think it mocks me. I feel helpless when it does. Self-doubt and inertia peek out at me from behind the monitor. Confidence wanes. Thoughts come unbidden about the uselessness of my words, the vanity of my actions. So many ironies lie unexpressed in this situation. I feel the tensions of them, but I am unable to express them in meaningful ways. I try to author my steps, but the words of my story don't seem to come to me sometimes.I think you can relate. There are times you are clear about your actions. The plans are set and you are motivated to move forward. It doesn't usually take very long for that feeling of confidence to melt and self-doubt arrives. You see the blank screen again, mocking your own inability to make a difference. Confidence fails you.
I want to help people grow and overcome that self-doubt. I see my own life and see how I have grown and struggle to think that my words will have importance in anyone's ears. That's imposter syndrome. I feel it far too often. That's where a lot of people find themselves, I think.
Maybe you feel it too.
Here are four simple tips, ideas to test-drive. They help me and maybe you'll see the value in them too. You can have that confidence you need again!
Brainstorm your thoughts and emotions
Unexpressed emotions can harm you. That's not a reason to go and pour vitriol and hate 
on others or to show emotions improperly in other ways. When I bottle up emotions I am ignoring them for a bit, for whatever reason. On a personal level I think it relates to fear, but that's really a different story. Whatever the reason, when we find ourselves wandering around unsure of our direction, you can count of the fact that you have emotions that need to be expressed or recognized. Those unrecognized parts of us destroy confidence.
on others or to show emotions improperly in other ways. When I bottle up emotions I am ignoring them for a bit, for whatever reason. On a personal level I think it relates to fear, but that's really a different story. Whatever the reason, when we find ourselves wandering around unsure of our direction, you can count of the fact that you have emotions that need to be expressed or recognized. Those unrecognized parts of us destroy confidence.The way I learn to identify those negative emotions is to just start writing. That may not work for you. What does it look like?
- Talking to a friend
- Taking a walk to gather your thoughts
- Praying about it, pouring your thoughts out to God.
However you do it, acknowledge and admit your thoughts and feelings. That is part of accepting your reality.
Identify your purpose again
I'm not sure, but I think we are hard-wired to find purpose in life. To me it relates to the inherent vanity of life that creates a desire for meaning. Desire isn't the right word. It's more like an obsession or demand. We refuse to think that life is worthless. And it's NOT worthless, but with the world as it is and the shortness of our own mortality, it's easy to feel like life is worthless and vain. Confidence can't live in that kind of feeling!
When you identify your reason for living, suddenly your feelings of vanity dissipate and what's left is a passion for what's important. I can help you with that if you like. Let's chat about it in the comments, or just message me.
Choose a simple step to take
The secret to starting is to make is as easy to start as possible. You don't want to start big if you're unmotivated. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. In fact, I have to promise myself to take it easy because I tend to do far too much and burn myself out on anything. So with running, for example, I find myself quitting for a month or two...or six and I find myself at a place of trying to motivate myself to just START. I know that once I start I can keep going much easier. So, I intentionally start small and easy to build that confidence.When I say start small I mean small. I went about 3 years with no exercise once. I knew I had to do something about that, so I decided to start running. But you don't just start running after sitting for 3 years. Part of my plan was just to walk for a couple of months. But that was still too large. I said we need to start small. So the week I wanted to start I simply set my alarm, woke up, sat up in bed, and then went back to sleep until a normal time to get up.
That was all!
The next week I woke up early on the first day of my "run" just like the last week. All I did that day was put my shoes on and walk around the house for a minute or two. At that point I went back to bed. I KNEW I could do those things. Days 2 and 3 were similar. By Day 4 I was out walking, but I only allowed myself to walk 20 minutes at most. Running was not allowed at all.
It wasn't long before I was running.
Instead of overwhelming yourself with pressure, admit that you need more time and need to take it slower at the beginning. And don't add too much over time. Be patient! That's much better than hurting yourself or burning out. It's better to go too slow in such things than too fast.
There is a secret to making this work though. You have to genuinely CELEBRATE each day as a win. If you beat yourself up for doing so little you will quit! Celebrate and be thankful you are making progress.
Don't Wait. It's Time to Act.
What small step will you take today to move towards your goals? Share your commitment in the comments below!
Share this with fellow procrastinators. It might be just what they need to see!
I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
