When God created the universe, He framed it according to laws and principles. Some of these have been discovered through time as curious people ask questions about reality. This structure is the foundation for life, and it is the foundation for you to be able to thrive in that life.
But some principles at work can negatively affect us. That's not to say the principles are evil. It's just how reality "works". So, we can identify them and learn to manage or control them and their effects.
Still other principles are neutral. These are powerful but only take effect based upon decisions that we make.
All of these types of principles work together to reveal a harmony in creation that points to God's wisdom. The creation tells of the glory of God, and if we understand these things we will do well in life!
Positive Principles
Starting with the positive, we are going to see which principles work with us and help us to succeed. Keep in mind that there is a strong spiritual aspect to these that will affect the physical. Also remember that your definition of "success" may need adjustment. These principles won't necessarily make you rich in money, but they will definitely make you "rich" in other, more important assets.
Love
And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. (Mark 12:30)
The first principle is love. This is the highest principle. According to Jesus, it is the most important thing you can do. Love God and love one another. Now, to understand that idea more clearly, we need to think of it in terms of its highest definition.
Love is patient, kind, and all the good attributes. But love also cares enough to confront. It is the motivation behind discipline. That discipline is both for us and those we love. But discipline can be unloving, so balance is needed.
The point is that this principle is not defined by the popular definition of letting everyone do whatever they want. In our modern society this is one of the culture's highest values, but it is only a form of love, empty of true spiritual power.
Perseverance or Patience
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. (Romans 8:25)
This is honestly one of the more difficult ones to practice for me. In our "microwave society" we have been trained to expect things to come quickly. Our time is too valuable to waste it.
That's not all bad. But some things require time. As many restaurant owners will ask, "Do you want it good, or do you want it fast?"
Another aspect of this, however, is that we must be consistent. Waiting in itself is not the point (except when waiting for something that is not in our control).
I've fooled myself many times by coming up with an idea and "waiting" for things to work out so I could start. That doesn't work! We know that patience includes the idea of "carrying a load over time", not just waiting for good things to happen.
Carry the load you need to carry. And do it until you succeed!
Discernment
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment (Philippians 1:9)
Discernment relates to the ability to see differences. We must be able to notice differences in ideas, thought patters, and activities. But that's not all.
When we discern, we also must be able to make decisions about value. That is, we make judgments.
To "judge" is one of the highest sins in our culture (so it seems), but there is no possible way to avoid making judgments about activities, thoughts, and patterns in life. And that includes what others do or say.
It's not wrong to say that someone did something wrong. If judgment is wrong, then we also do wrong by saying someone did something RIGHT. Either way a judgment was made. (This problem actually stems from a misunderstanding of what love is).
How to Develop Discernment
How do we learn discernment though? There is only one way: Consistent practice. That practice includes:
- Comparing your failures with your successes and the successes of others you know.
- Asking others what they noticed about their activities and how they made adjustments.
- Meditation, times of deep concentration specifically intending to find patterns and see reality for what it is.
- Prayer. God promised to give wisdom about such things in James 1.
- Being unafraid to make mistakes. You often learn much more from mistakes than from successes in your life.
- Staying humble and open to new ideas. When we think we have it "figured out" we will definitely miss something because we will be closed off to new information.
- Studying the Bible is the perfect way to learn to discern. The pursuit of spiritual truth itself will hone your skills tremendously.
How would you tell someone to create more discernment in their life?
Negative Principles
Entropy
Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge. (Psalm 19:27)
The principle of entropy is a scientific term related to "information". Specifically, entropy is about the tendency of systems to degrade and go from order to disorder over time. It affects every part of our universe, and that includes some important ideas.
The ideas don't degrade, but our THINKING tends to degrade.
Each of us must face the fact that our beliefs will change over time. Our memories will change and fade. Our motivations will change and fade. It's not possible to avoid this change!
And if we are not careful that change will go in the wrong direction.
Physically we will degrade over time. That's what aging is. It's not pleasant, but it's reality. We fight back physically through exercise, nutrition, and proper sleep habits, but those only delay the inevitable.
That aging process can also affect our brains so that we cannot think as quickly and maybe even become unable to think at all.
Barring such things, we can increase spiritually day by day. Entropy does not need to cause a loss of faith. That is an important idea Paul wrote about in 2 Corinthians 4:16.
"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day."
This principle makes me want to exercise more frequently because I can (hopefully) then use my body in ways that will glorify God. I also exercise my mind for the same reasons.
Self-Sabotage
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:15-19)
Sometimes I think I love shooting myself in the foot! Not literally obviously. But how many times have you tried to do something and then did things that would almost guarantee you would fail? That's self-sabotage!
Why do we do it? Who knows. (There may be many reasons.) The most helpful explanation I've seen relates to the subconscious mind.
Our subconscious mind is always working in the background, hidden from our view. It's the part of the brain that wants to see order and find patterns. It's a marvelous part of our makeup that lets us put lesser things on "autopilot" so we can focus on more important things.
Can you imagine having to remember to breathe, make your heart pump, digest food, (and all the other things the body does) all the while trying to drive a bus full of children? That might not go so well.
The subconscious mind is a great asset! But sometimes it works against us.
When your mind notices that there are differences between your belief and your behavior, it begins to act in ways that will ensure you act according to your deepest beliefs. Because of that, we generally have a very difficult time adjusting to a new activity. We are literally working against our own minds.
When we learn to manage these things, we will learn to notice and avoid self-defeating actions. That's when growth begins to take root!
Learned Helplessness
The sluggard says, 'There is a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!' (Proverbs 26:13)
This one is similar to self-sabotage except it relates to allowing others to sabotage us. We might also call this "victim mentality".
The idea is that we play the victim. We blame others for our problems when they might not have had anything to do with it. And our society reinforces this.
It may be true that some people have no choice because they have not learned any better. The solution is to show them how to make better decisions. People need to learn to ask, "Is there a better way than this?"
Learned helplessness is real and our culture revels in it and trains people to accept it.
How to Overcome Learned Helplessness
How do you overcome it? Because I intend to actually HELP people with this website, I don't want to leave this without giving some things to think about and try. Here are a few thoughts.
- Admit that sometimes we are helpless. No one should think that they can fix all their own problems.
- Look to God for help in difficult times. This does not mean that we don't look for ways to combat our problems of course.
- Feed your mind by learning new thoughts. You cannot learn to behave differently without changing your thinking patterns.
- Hang around people who accomplish things. Learn to think like they think.
- Make lists of ways you can attack a problem you're facing. This is an effective way to expand your thinking! No matter how ridiculous it might sound, fill a page with ideas. Your "ridiculous" ideas will bring up other ideas. And it might be that after a while the "ridiculous" idea might turn out to be not so ridiculous after all!
- Ask yourself what an expert might do.
- Seek help from people who can brainstorm with you and help you see things you might be missing. (I'm happy to help with that by the way.)
Keep trying. It may take a lot of work, but breaking free from the shackles of learned helplessness is part of what brings joy to your life.
Neutral Principles 
For the last section I want you to consider that there are principles that work for or against us. It's based on decisions we make in our processes of life.
For the last section I want you to consider that there are principles that work for or against us. It's based on decisions we make in our processes of life.Sowing and Reaping AKA "Cause and Effect"
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)
This is one that is so important to understand! It is extremely powerful and if misused can destroy your life.
One of the problems this principle causes stems from the fact that we always reap AFTER we sow. Sometimes the "after" takes years before we see it come to fruition. Sometimes it is immediate.
Imagine if it took 3 days to notice when you burn your finger touching a hot stove? What good would that information be? Not nearly as good as when you get the immediate response.
Some lessons have to be learned on the spot. But some lessons are more suited to come at later times.
Some of the best lessons are designed to come when you are ready for them. Until then your mind will ruminate on the problem.
With possible medical exceptions, when we ruminate on a problem or on some action that we took that embarrassed us or hurt us in some way, that's our mind's way of holding on to information. Our brains tell us it is important for us to learn a lesson from the experience. Your brain is waiting for you to deal with the memory and tell it how to categorize it.
- "Is this as important as I think it is?"
- "What lesson should I learn so I don't have this happen again?"
- "What insights do I need based on this action?"
These are questions our brains are trying to answer.
Maybe the next time you have that intruding thought that will not leave you alone, try dealing with it on emotional and logical levels.
Find the lesson or find the way to categorize it.
Often that will alleviate the memory. Sometimes it can have a stronger emotional connection that is difficult to manage though. You might want to ask for some help if you can't seem to stop the feelings.
Fear
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. (Psalm 111:10)
We know that fear is a great motivator! We can use this as a tool, if we are cautious with it. In some ways it is like fire. It can cook great meals but also burn you very badly.
We've noticed over time that fear can only motivate short term. Studies have shown that when people are inundated with fears about things they feel no control over, after a while they stop caring about their fate. It's as if they throw up their hands and accept their fate.
Incidentally this happens a lot in religious circles when people are singly motivated by fear to follow God.
How to Make FEAR Your Helper
How can you use fear safely? Here are some thoughts.
- Clearly state what your fear is and what it could possibly do for you.
- Inject a healthy amount of fear into your thinking now and then.
- Be aware of the difference between genuine risk and invented risks.
- Frame fear in your thinking as something you are introducing so that you can avoid it, not to disable you from reaction.
- Avoid hyper-criticism of self for the sake of fear.
Let me provide an example that will clarify these ideas.
Suppose your doctor told you to lose 40 pounds. He did not say anything more, just the facts. Now it is up to you to motivate yourself to get busy.
Well, let's face it, the prospect of losing that much weight is a scary thought! Most of us would not think it possible.
But suppose we come up with a plan. We generously plan to lose ~2 pounds a month through exercise, watching our nutrition, and getting proper amounts of sleep. We have decided to transform our behavior!
That means we would lose the weight in 20 months. But we give ourselves 2 years, just so we take the pressure off a little.
Then Monday comes and you have a hard time getting out of bed. You try everything you can think of to motivate yourself, but you don't want to move.
Here is where healthy fear can come in. Our minds are great at finding all the things to fear when it decides it's time for us to worry. You can used that to your advantage.
Ask yourself, "What will happen to me if I don't create a healthy habit?"
Imagine realistically what that might mean. Ask yourself if you want that to happen today or tomorrow.
Fear can be a big motivator if used properly!
Motives
All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD. (Proverbs 16:2)
Zig Ziglar once said that "motivation doesn't last but neither do showers, so I recommend a daily application of both." Motivation wanes quickly, but motives are different.
Our motives are those things we hold dear. They are the reasons we apply motivation.
The highest motive is love. When we love others, we are much happier helping them if they need it. We are more willing to sacrifice for them.
Sometimes our motives are "fuzzy" though. That means that some of our motives are in conflict with other motives when it comes to a particular activity we are attempting.
We've all been there before. We call them "fuzzy" motives because they do not provide a clear picture of what we are trying to accomplish. This is not just about the end result as much as it is about the REASON for the end result.
Having motives out of alignment causes paralysis and discouragement. We are designed to react that way. Our minds want clarity on what and why we are doing things so that it can bring to the table the necessary tools to help us accomplish our goals.
How to Align Your Motives
Here's how to find "alignment" in motives.
- Identify as many different motives as you can. (Believe me, you do not do anything based on only ONE motive.) Be open. Even the negative ones must be named. Don't worry, you don't have to publish the list.
- Name the motives as either good or evil.
- Name the motives as either helpful or harmful. (Just because a motive is good does not mean it is helpful.)
- Of the ones that are good and helpful, organize them between "good, better, and best". Rank them. This might take some time and maybe even some help.
- In the ranking take the top three and ask some questions about them. How do these motives affect my desired action? Is my action contradicting this motive somehow? If I could do my action perfectly only based on this one motive, how would my activity change? These and other similar questions will help you pinpoint great motives.
- Engage in the activity consciously thinking about these motives you chose. That does not guarantee that you will not have bad motives, but it is a great way to ensure that your actions will be aligned with what is truly important.
- By the way, this process might also show you whether you clearly see your motives (which can be extremely difficult to see). If you do these things and still feel stuck or still feel like things are not clear, it could be a sign that you are not being honest with yourself.
You might notice that this is a VERY motivating process! Take Zig's earlier advice and apply this daily until your motives become crystal clear!
For further clarity, if you would like to watch a Bible class where we cover several of these principles, you can watch/listen here.
Conclusion
There are many principles that govern our lives. They can be positive, negative, or neutral.
Positive principles work for you when you apply yourself. Negative principles work against you all the time. And neutral principles kick in based on the kinds of decisions you make.
God has arranged these principles in the nature of the Creation. They serve important purposes. If we are wise, we will find ways to work with them.
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I'm Jason Sparks and I empower men aged 30-45 to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and find purpose through a holistic approach to personal development, integrating spiritual growth, career stability, and natural healing methods. Join me on Facebook for free. JOIN
